How to Gain, Build, and Improve Your Self-Confidence

by Percival J. Meris on August 3, 2009


OF THE MANY REQUISITES TO SUCCESS, SELF-CONFIDENCE IS FOREMOST. And yet a number of individuals suffer from low self-esteem, which results to low self-confidence. If you suffer from low self-confidence, realize that more than anything else, it is your fears and doubts that undermine your self-esteem, and cause you to think negatively about what you are truly capable of doing.

What Is Self-Confidence?

You are self-confident when you know you can get from where you are to where you want to be, in the belief that you are in control of your own life situation. You seek not other people’s approval about how you feel about yourself. Since you have high belief in your capabilities, you take advantage of opportunities as they come along.

Some people equate lack of self-confidence with lack of abilities. On the contrary, a number people who are naturally capable show lack of self-confidence. Inversely, people who are not capable are confident they are, and that belief makes them capable. He who thinks he can, can; he who thinks he cannot, cannot.

Negative Effects of Low Self-Confidence

Low self-esteem is something that holds you back from living the life you deserve. If you suffer from low level of self-confidence, you may get involved with people who view you in low regard and even treat you unfairly. Until you conquer your fears and improve your confidence, anxiety will follow you each time you think about a life situation that gives you the jitters. Even when something great happens to you, you just cannot accept it, and find yourself dismissing it as plain luck.

Since there is a strong link between your mind and your body, you may also experience physical issues. The anxiety and insecurity you feel may cause you to eat too much or to eat to little. They may also give you mysterious feeling of bodily pain, which you may very well find to go away as your self-esteem improves.

Gaining Self-Confidence

If your parents did not instill self-confidence in you as you were growing up, take responsibility for your own development in adulthood. You can still gain self-confidence through your determination and the support of your family and friends. But the first step towards this change is your recognition of its absence.

How do you gain self-confidence?

    1. Identify your strengths and weaknesses, and capitalize on that.
    2. Acknowledge your abilities and talent, and take stock of them.
    3. Look for things that make you feel good about yourself. Think of the things that you have achieved, and take it from there.
    4. Focus on the gains of achievement, not on the fear of failure.
    5. Strive to become very good at whatever you do. Good performance and accomplishment generate increased self-confidence.

So, start believing in your abilities, and not on the negative things other people say about you.

Building Self-Confidence With Daily Affirmations

You can rebuild your self-esteem and confidence with the aid of daily affirmations. Positive affirmations can turn your negativities around.

What are positive affirmations? They are simply statements or phrases that focus on the positive rather than the negative ideas. These mantras can actually reprogram your subconscious thinking to bring you a plethora of good benefits that you’ll enjoy for years to come!

How do you formulate an affirmation statement?

    1. Affirmations should always be in the present tense.
    2. Choose statements that focus on the positive attributes you want to encourage, saying them as if you already exhibit that behavior.
    3. Address yourself by name when expressing your affirmations.
    4. Focus on one or two affirmations to start with. Your subconscious may be overwhelmed, or dismiss the deeper meaning.
    5. Practice your affirmations as often as possible.

An example of affirmation that conforms to the rules above is as follow:

I, Richard Albert, am a person with strong solid habits that are carrying me to my chosen destiny.

There are many books, software, and self-improvement websites that include hundreds of good daily affirmations. You can then pick out one or two that you’d like to focus on, and get started.

Here is one software that I highly recommend. It is called The Sculptor Method. Since affirmations reprogram the mind for different purposes, the software goes beyond the generation of self-confidence in the user. It uses your own computer to help develop other attributes that empowers your mind to achieve your dreams without much effort on your part.

Having learned the method, it is now time to take positive action. Action is the only real antidote to doubt and fear that undermine your belief in your abilities. Realize that when you take action and begin to exude self-confidence, you become attractive to people. Trusting in your capability, these people will gravitate towards you, and make opportunities available for you to serve them in their needs.


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