How to Develop Anger Management Skills

by Percival J. Meris on October 12, 2011

An Anger Management Practitioner

An Anger Management Practitioner

Anger Management Photo Courtesy of

ANGER MANAGEMENT IS NOT ABOUT LEARNING NEVER TO BE ANGRY. It is about learning HOW to be angry. The general notion that anger can only be nothing but destructive can be invalidated by a deliberate attempt to render it safe and constructive. Learning how to manage your anger is what this article is all about.

Why You Need to Acquire Anger Management Skills

Unmanaged, anger generates a sense of grievance that often turns destructive. The extent of destructiveness is directly proportional to the degree of anger generated, which can range from a simple inner frustration to dangerously extreme outward violence.

Reckless expression of this emotion causes breakdowns in interpersonal relationships. Long-time friends part ways. Marriages disintegrate. Worst of all, the vengeance it induces often results in irreversible loss of limb or life.

A strong emotional outburst exposes the angry person to the risk of stroke and heart attack. It depresses his immune system, making him susceptible to various kinds of diseases. He succumbs to depression, anxiety disorders, and a long-standing feeling of resentment.

In a fit of rage, a person can vent his anger on objects or animals within his reach with destructive effects. Unfortunate though it may be for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, an object is a far better victim of one’s rage than a person, however costly it may be.

But none of the above would happen, if the person only learns anger management skills.

Producing Constructive Anger with Anger Management

You cannot avoid anger, but you can optimize its influence on your behavior. By using its energy to drive you towards achieving your goals, you could turn it to be one of your greatest motivators. Some people use anger to stand up for what they believe in and for the people they care for.

Anger Management Techniques

Prerequisites to applying anger management techniques include your awareness of the problem and your willingness and determination to find solution to it.

Preventive Techniques

The best way to manage anger is to prevent its occurrence.

Long-Term Prevention Techniques

    Regular Practice of Meditation: Meditation aims to bring mind waves under control. Successful meditation practice produces alpha waves, which gives you a sense of peace and serenity, even amidst the stresses of everyday life. You remain calm and peaceful under any circumstance.

    Regular Relaxation Exercises: Relaxation and anger are incompatible experiences. The best physical exercises for relaxation are Yoga and Tai Chi. Yoga is an excellent way to relax mind and body. Tai Chi helps you handle stressful situations.

    Learning to Identify Anger Triggers: What conditions provoke you to anger? Why do they provoke you? How will you resolve them, when they occur?

    Reshaping Negative Attitudes and Beliefs:Your view of the world, conditioned by your attitudes and belief systems, determine your emotional reactions. If your thinking patterns are negative, reorient them towards a positive direction. With a positive mind, negative emotions become incompatible, and discontinue to persist.

Immediate Prevention Techniques

    Stay away from anger-provoking situations. If this is not possible, prepare yourself mentally to handle potential stressors or anger triggers before facing them.

    When in the situation, be mindful of your feelings. Recognize and acknowledge the onset of anger. Defeat it before it overpowers you. Find ways to ease out the stress before it ripens into a full-blown anger.

Handling Techniques

Should your prevention strategies prove insufficient, try the following physical, psychological, and social techniques to reduce the anger activators.

Physical Techniques

    At the onset of anger, remove yourself from the situation. Take a personal break. Work on your breathing, and modify your thoughts. Try also to refresh and cool your senses with some cold drinks.

    If these are not enough, engage in a physical activity that can serve as outlet for your anger. Practice karate on a punching bag. Play basketball. Chop wood. Run, run, run. Go where nobody can hear you, and shout out your heart’s content – LOUD! Vent it out, using only safe means. Just do not bottle it up.

Psychological Techniques

    Cognitive Restructuring: Altering your thinking pattern about your existing situation into more rational form can help overpower your anger feelings. Pause, and think of its possible consequences. Tell yourself that life is not always a bed of roses, and that getting angry can never be a solution.

    Autosuggestion: Self-talk (autosuggestion) is your inner conversation that can influence how you feel and behave. Repeating words that conjure up peaceful and friendly images in your mind can help you shift your feeling from angry to relaxed.

Social Techniques

    Communication: Without being offensive, express your feelings freely and state your needs firmly in your attempt to assert your convictions and release your pent-up frustrations.

    Empathy and Patience: See the issue from the other person’s perspective. He may have justifiable reasons for his behavior, and you just do not understand him. Be compassionate and generous with your patience. If you have a soft heart, you are less prone to anger.

More Techniques

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Still More Techniques

Learn more techniques from Anger Management: How to Control Your Anger to Get the Most Out of Your Life

What I Would Do, If I Were the Object of Your Anger

When you are angry, you are in emotional pain. If I were the object of your anger, I would have enough sense not to join you in your pain by returning the disfavor.

In your state of anger at me, I will immediately recognize the power you have relinquished to me to dictate how you should feel. Unless you learn to practice anger management, I would be tempted to play with your emotion accordingly.

Main Keyphrase

anger management


{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }

Self-confidence Builder October 14, 2011 at 11:25 pm

This post provides very valuable info on the subject of Anger management. so often I have observed the “Reckless expression of this emotion causes breakdowns in interpersonal relationships.” It hurts everyone involved 100% of the time. Learning to deal with this is very important.

Percival J. Meris October 15, 2011 at 11:17 am

Hi! Thanks for dropping by my site and leaving your comment. Indeed, many relationships have been broken because of a moment’s fit of anger. This article hopes to educate readers to use their anger safely and constructively.

shawna December 16, 2011 at 8:49 am

I really liked the way you played out steps to help deal with some anger issues. Everybody gets angry sometimes but when it gets out of control it can affect other people. Thank you for being able to discus this in a simple manner.

shawna December 16, 2011 at 8:52 am

I liked how you brought the whole article together. Anger can be a serious issue in many peoples lives. I will pass this article along to a friend i know.

Percival J. Meris December 18, 2011 at 8:08 am

Thank you very much, Shawna.

DUI evaluation January 26, 2012 at 8:52 pm

Many people are not really good in dealing with their anger. Often times, they tend to be destructive in displacing such emotion. These techniques that you shared regarding learning how to manage one’s anger is very helpful. It is a great resource for those who want to overcome excessive display of such. Thanks for posting.

Percival J. Meris January 27, 2012 at 8:33 am

@DUI evaluation: Thank you very much for finding the post helpful. Anger is, indeed, a destructive emotion. It is natural to go through this emotion every now and then, especially when justified, but the person experiencing this should learn how to channel this energy into more constructive application. This is a powerful energy. If handled well, it is not put to waste.

Please feel free to share the article to those who you know need to be educated on the importance of sublimating this energy.

Anger Management January 15, 2016 at 2:30 pm

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Anger Management recently posted..Anger Management

Percival J. Meris January 16, 2016 at 2:14 pm

Thank you for your appreciation and your encouraging words.

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