How Successful Are You As A Parent?

by Percival J. Meris on November 1, 2009

Parent and Child

Photo Courtesy of Microsoft

BECOMING A PARENT DOES NOT MEAN JUST BEARING A CHILD. It also comes with the serious responsibility of rearing him to adulthood.

Being a successful parent means raising your child up in a way that will turn him into a well-adjusted and morally responsible adult. If by your parenting style he grows into adulthood as a liability and menace to himself and to society, you would have failed as a parent.

Here are just three of several ways to bring your child up the right way:

Raise Your Child To Be An Emotionally Healthy Individual

Failing to raise an emotionally healthy child is one of the most serious problems facing today’s society. Emotionally healthy children seem to be the exception rather than the rule nowadays. Here are what you can do to encourage the development of emotional health in him:

Be a Role Model

A child learns by imitation from the examples of people he looks up to. Therefore, model for him the quality or behavior you want to develop in him, and start living them yourself.

If you want your child to be healthy, fit, attractive, and kind, he should see those qualities in you. If you demonstrate integrity, honesty and respectability, he will emulate those behaviors of yours. If you show that you love him, he will learn to love himself.

Spend Quality Time with Him

Quality time is perhaps one of the most precious gifts that you can give your child. Your child appreciates you getting involved with the activities he is interested in. When you do so, you give him a kind of attention that is a huge self-image booster.

Show That You Believe In Him

If you believe in him, he will believe in himself. For instance, when you show him that you welcome his friends in your home, he will see that you accept his choice of friends. If you have been raising him up properly, chances are he will pick good friends. This gesture communicates to him that you accept and trust him about his own decisions.

Enhance Your Child’s Self-Image

Very important but often misunderstood and underestimated is the parental duty to make sure your child knows he is loved and valued. With this constant reassurance, your child will grow up with a self-image that is healthy and strong.

Regardless of what kind of person he is, you need to let him hear from you again and again that he is accepted. You need to ensure that he feels good about himself and his capabilities.

This does not mean, however, that you should not show disappointment and disapproval when he misbehaves . By setting boundaries on his behavior, you show him that you care a great deal about him. You must make it very clear to him that it is his misbehavior, not his person, that you are disapproving.

Respond Properly To Your Child’s Mistakes

Inappropriate response to a child’s mistakes can lead him to develop an attitude of dishonesty. When he commits a mistake, he would find it difficult to admit it, and throw the blame on somebody else, instead. If this is the case with your child, revisit your previous attitudes. How did you treat him when trouble arose?

By being quick to blame and punishing him for a mistake he did not maliciously intend to do, you are teaching him to be dishonest about his behavior and encouraging him to put the blame on somebody else. Your child will seek out any excuse possible to avoid this kind of reproach. Later on, this dishonesty could develop into a habit of believing that he is blameless for whatever he does.

A positive approach would be to assure him that it is all right to commit a mistake and that people do make mistakes. Smile, hug, and kiss him as you respond with love, care, and understanding. These actions will also go a long way into developing his self-esteem, as well as your parent-child relationship.

However, if he commits the same mistake over and over again, find out the reason why. It could be that he needs guidance for his difficulty in learning the lesson of his mistake. It could also be that this has developed into a misbehavior, for which you should express stern disapproval and impose sanction, if necessary.

Parenthood is one of the most challenging responsibilities you will encounter in your life. The kind of individual your child will become depends to a great extent upon your commitment and dedication to this enormous task. You have to be there to balance between loving and disciplining your child and to turn his actions from misbehavior to great behavior. The key concept here is to treat him with all the respect due to a human being and with a loving guidance that a person of immaturity needs.

If your child is still under your custody, are you doing what is necessary to be a successful parent? If your child is grown-up now, how successful a parent have you been to him? If you think you have failed, make up for the opportunities you have missed, and apply what you have learned from this article … this time as a grandparent.


{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

steveborgman November 26, 2009 at 5:29 am

I find that the most important element for success in parenting here in the United States is spending quallity and quantity time with our children. The high tech and TV culture lends itself to isolation via technology. Turn off the computers and TV's, and take intentional time with your family as a whole, and with your children individually. That time and commitment will play huge dividends.

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