How Do You Earn the Respect You Deserve?

by Percival J. Meris on October 4, 2009

Photo by Ramzi HashishoGuy Showing Respect - 872921_44937577

DO PEOPLE RESPECT YOU, BUT DO NOT LIKE YOU? Or, do they like you, but do not respect you? Most people actually like the people they respect. But sometimes being liked and being respected at the same time do not go together. If you have to choose one over the other, which would it be?

Earn The Respect You Deserve

As a human being, you are naturally entitled to respect. But other people may not give it to you as your innate right. You have to do something to gain it. For them, no respect is genuine unless earned.

How much people respect you depends entirely on you. It comes as a spontaneous response to your behavior. If they do not have respect for you, there is nobody to blame but you.

Earn The Respect You Deserve From Yourself

The first person whom you should get respect from is yourself.

Respect yourself simply because you possess that inherent worth as a person. Know yourself. The more you do, the more you see your true worth, and the more you will respect yourself.

Improve yourself in all aspects: physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually. Be the best that you can. Do the right thing all the time. If you do, respect will be yours.

Earn The Respect You Deserve From Others

Learning to respect yourself makes you learn to respect others, as well.

For others to respect you, you must respect yourself first.

Have respect for yourself. Otherwise, people may not have respect for you either. To inspire others to respect you, be confident without being arrogant. Overconfidence may prove to be counterproductive.

For others to respect you, you must respect them, as well.

If you don’t know how to respect yourself, you won’t know how to respect others. If you do not respect others, others will not respect you. Respect is reciprocal. Give respect to get respect.

As human beings, all people deserve respect, regardless of who they are. Treat them with respect, therefore, regardless of how they treat you. By doing so, you teach them respect for themselves, as you build respect for yourself.

Do Not Mistake Respect For Fear

Respect means being courteous to other people and sensitive to their feelings. It means honoring their personal boundaries. You do this not out of fear but out of the awareness that they are human beings, who have as much worth and dignity as you. Respect inspired by fear is no respect at all.

What If You Still Do Not Get The Respect You Deserve From Others?

You do not earn respect by tolerating disrespect. No self-respecting person will ever allow anybody to treat him so. You have to get him to honor your rights as a person, and not allow him to cross your personal boundaries. Remember, people treat us in the way we allow ourselves to be treated.

Look Before You Leap

However, before you make such a conclusion, examine his motive first. Often, you tend to mistake his innocent behavior as a form of disrespect. If you are not careful, this act of yours can cause problems.

Realize that there may be many possible reasons for his behavior, other than being disrespectful. Which of them could be making him act that way? Remember it is not the behavior that matters, but the intention behind it.

How Do You Respond to Disrespect?

Learn to recognize when a person is really disrespecting you, and do something to stop it. Speak out your truth calmly but positively and authoritatively, as you try to make him understand. Leave the impression that you are intelligent, well spoken, and confident.

As you do this, use strong body language. Show dignity and integrity. Stand straight, look at him straight in the eye, and speak forcefully but not overwhelmingly so.

If He Does Not Respond Positively…

There are people who are disrespectful to everyone and everything. No matter what you do to command respect, nothing may work! So, what do you do?

Turn your back, and disassociate yourself from him. Distance yourself physically and emotionally. If you stick around, you can end up hurting either one of you.

Never sacrifice self-respect to conform to his unjustifiable wishes. Stand your ground with firmness and determination. If this does not influence him to respect you, he will gradually start to fall away from your life. If you are being true to yourself, does it matter?

Use these techniques in all interactions every day to gain and sustain the respectrespect you deserve.


{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

Steve Borgman October 12, 2009 at 9:29 pm

Very well said! Probably the most important thing you stated was that we need to be able to respect ourselves first. Most of the time, when we do not get respect, it is because we are sending the unspoken message that we don't respect ourselves either. Great wisdom here.

sirpercy October 13, 2009 at 2:50 pm

Thanks for your comment, Steve. I like what you said about sending unspoken message that we don't respect ourselves as a reason why we do not get respect. This idea enriches the content of the article.

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