Do Not Become Another Divorce Statistic! Save Your Marriage Now.

by Percival J. Meris on March 8, 2010

Marriage Photo Courtesy of SaveMyMarriageToday.com

DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY APPLICATIONS FOR MARRIAGE DISSOLUTION ARE FILED EVERY YEAR IN THE U.S. ALONE? A staggering two million!!! Shocking! …Why do many couples find it so difficult to stay married nowadays?

Divorce damages both parents and children. It significantly lowers life expectancies of parents, as grief over the loss of a loved one takes its toll on their physical and mental health. This same grief affects their children even more, manifesting its effects in harmful personal and social behaviors.

Marriage ends up in divorce whenever parents think only of their own needs and happiness in utter disregard of their children’s.

Save Your Marriage from Divorce

Divorce marks the culmination of long-standing marital problems, not addressed early enough. In marriage as in health, prevention is better than cure.

What factors should you consider in strengthening marital bond and preventing separation?

Strong Foundation

In the first five years of marriage, build a foundation that will ensure survival of your partnership through the coming years. Otherwise, vicissitudes of married life will cause cracks and erosions on your relationship.

Building a strong foundation requires you to agree on how to best work together when faced with difficult issues, and to agree and set priorities about important things, like money, children, household management, and future goals

This is the perfect time to polish your communication skills and open up to each other the innermost part of your being.

Unconditional Love and Respect

Love your spouse unconditionally. Simply put, it means putting your partner’s interest and happiness above yours without any requirement or limitation. It means doing it despite faults, shortcomings, and imperfections.

But do more than just loving. Respect your spouse, as you expect the same kind of respect in return.

Communication

The single biggest cause of marital break-up is poor communication. Other marital problems are merely offshoots. Loss of love, infidelity, and difficulty in handling relationship problems are but some of these offshoots.

Poor communication prevents couples from working together in preserving their partnership. They break up over issues that they could have resolved, had they only communicated and worked together towards a solution.

Learn how to communicate when dealing with problems. Talk things out, but listen more often. Give each other a chance to be heard and be understood.

Talk more often about feelings without being judgmental. Voice out frustrations before they get to boiling point.

Speak without being so emotional. Do not shout nor nag, much less single out each other’s shortcomings. Every so often, communication becomes clouded, when feelings are involved.

It is perfectly normal for married couples, being individuals of different personalities, to have disputes. But it is how the couple deals with these disagreements that determines how healthy their relationship is.

Risk Factors

Divorce is not a sudden event. It is the end result of long-standing conditions that have been existing in marriage before this. We call them risk factors.

Early marriage, divorced parents, and premarital cohabitation are examples. They are given, and are relatively unchangeable. That is why we call them static risk factors. There is little that can be done to change them.

Then, there are the dynamic risk factors. They relate more directly to how you communicate, how you treat each other, and how you regard your relationship. Unlike the static, there is much you can do to improve them.

Static factors tend to express themselves in dynamic factors. Divorce is more likely when you have more of these two types. Recognize them early, and deal with them positively.

Hidden Issues

In your married life, there may be some underlying issues that you may not be aware exist but which influence your behaviors negatively. They keep surfacing covertly in every disagreement.

You cannot handle hidden issues until you are able to identify them. To realize they exist, watch out for these symptoms:

  1. Are there arguments, which keep on repeating, despite having said everything many times before?
  2. Are trivial issues are blown up out of all proportion?
  3. Do you avoiding certain topics or levels of intimacy between you?
  4. Do you document, instead of discuss, the number of times your partner has taken advantage of you?

An example of hidden issue could be your cultural differences that you avoid talking about for fear of rejection by the other.

Bring these issues out into the open, and start talking about them constructively. Focus less on solving problems and more on hearing each other’s thoughts and feelings.

Left unresolved, these nagging issues can contribute to an eventual divorce. Handled properly, you can consider issues as opportunity for growth and understanding.

Can You Save Your Marriage from Divorce?

Instead of opting for divorce, choose to work on saving your relationship. If you cannot do it by yourselves, do not hesitate to ask for help. You can read a book written by a relationship expert, run to a professional counselor, or join a marriage problems help forum.

A book is probably your first resort. If so, let me recommend Amy Waterman’s Save My Marriage Today! Amy is a professional writer specializing in attraction, dating, and relationships. She has helped thousands of men and women fix their marriages and unhappy relationships.

The right information can help you have the kind of marriage you dream about. But right information alone is not enough. Marriage involves work. Marriage problems require even more work. You must be committed that the effort you make to save your marriage is going to be worth it.





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{ 3 comments… read them below or add one }

Divorce Guide September 25, 2010 at 8:51 am

Divorce is very emotional and difficult time in their life…Thanks for this wonderful posting

Percival J. Meris September 25, 2010 at 9:29 am

Thank you for dropping by and leaving your comment. Thanks for appreciating my post.

I wish many married couples would read this and other similar articles for guidance and inspiration in handling and resolving their marital problems, which could lead to eventual divorce.

Successful resolution of marital issue that could save their marriages will benefit both spouses and, especially, their children.

Aleksa February 28, 2016 at 12:03 pm

When it comes to extramarital rehloitnsaips, a lot of time and energy is needed to get past the initial inner thoughts. The psychological blocks at the start of knowing the extramarital relationship has to be handled with lots of maturity and endurance. And to end up making the relationship a lot stronger after the extramarital relationship is possible but it takes a lot of commitment and energy towards the partner.|Lot of people develop a lot of resentment on the husband or wife because of the extramarital relationship. And this is tough to overcome when ignored. Dealing with our own thoughts is really essential and learning the root cause which pushed the spouse or the partner to have the affair needs to be known. Additionally this gives an improved understanding of your situation.|If you are faced with an affair don’t just think that things may workout on its own. One needs to face them and take care of them. In addition I think it is really important to find out if the partner is basically sorry and also feeling bad about their extramarital relationship or not. Always maintain the communication going very good. Also I found a helpful article here . Thanks for the post & Have a great day.thanks!

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