Save the Marriage You Cherish from Unnecessary Dissolution

by Percival J. Meris on November 30, 2011

Still Hoping to Save the Marriage

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T O SAVE THE MARRIAGE FROM DISSOLUTION MAY BE A DIFFICULT UNDERTAKING but not an impossible one. It is perfectly normal for spouses to experience very difficult and trying times in their relationship, but this does not have to end up in separation, annulment, or divorce.

In many cases, marital conflicts that end up in separation or divorce are brought about by inability to adjust to basic personality differences between spouses. Understanding and accepting of these as part of any relationship between two different individuals would go a long way to save the marriage from dissolution.

What You Should Know to Save the Marriage

If you want to save the marriage you treasure, you must know and accept certain givens in your relationship.

  1. You and your spouse have different ways of reacting to the same situation. Never make the mistake of expecting your spouse to respond to the same situation as you do.
  2. The husband, for instance, would be more detached from his feelings, while the wife would be more expressive about it. This difference could be a potential flash point of misunderstanding that could lead to breakdown of relationship.

    Knowing and accepting this fact give you more chances to save the marriage in danger.

  3. Certain stressful situations, such as grief, could bring out the worst in your spouse. This could be very revealing to you about certain personality traits you never knew before.
  4. Do not be shocked, but be patient and understanding, instead. Welcome this particular revelation as an opportunity to know your spouse and to see how this behavior affects you.

    If you are negatively affected, consider seeking the help of a marriage counselor to save the marriage. In the meantime, avoid any harmful reaction that could add strain to the situation.

What You Should Do to Save the Marriage

You do not have to wait until a problem arises in your relationship. For then, it might be too late. Be proactive to avoid taking a reactive approach to the situation.

At the start of you marriage, both of you must resolve to stand committed to abide by certain behaviors. If you have not done so yet, it is not too late to begin now.

  1. Be devoted to one another and commit yourselves to get through all your trials together.
  2. Understand where each one of you is coming from, and support one another in times of weakness.
  3. Seek the help of close friends and relatives for problems you cannot handle yourselves. Those who have gone through similar problems would especially be helpful.
  4. Learn to laugh together and smile at each other often. Always find reasons for doing so. A life of smiles and laughter reduces chances for both of you taking each other’s faults seriously.

As I have said earlier, incidences of marital difficulties are part of being married to one another. They always come in the life of married couples. Welcome them into your married lives as opportunities to grow in love.

Any difficulty you overcome together can strengthen your bond with each other. Then, it is easier to save the marriage God has bestowed on you.

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{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

shawna December 16, 2011 at 8:34 am

You were exactly right when you were saying how we shouldn’t predict how our partner will react in a situation. Its important to listen to each others feelings and concerns our website may also be of some use. Thanks again for the advice.

Percival Meris December 18, 2011 at 7:56 am

Added to that, Shawna, is that you should not even attempt to change your partner. Instead, consider changing yourself. To be married is not a matter of having the right person but being the right person.

Thanks for your comment.

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