An Anger Management Practitioner
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ANGER MANAGEMENT IS NOT ABOUT LEARNING NEVER TO BE ANGRY. It is about learning HOW to be angry. The general notion that anger can only be nothing but destructive can be invalidated by a deliberate attempt to render it safe and constructive. Learning how to manage your anger is what this article is all about.
Why You Need to Acquire Anger Management Skills
Unmanaged, anger generates a sense of grievance that often turns destructive. The extent of destructiveness is directly proportional to the degree of anger generated, which can range from a simple inner frustration to dangerously extreme outward violence.
Reckless expression of this emotion causes breakdowns in interpersonal relationships. Long-time friends part ways. Marriages disintegrate. Worst of all, the vengeance it induces often results in irreversible loss of limb or life.
A strong emotional outburst exposes the angry person to the risk of stroke and heart attack. It depresses his immune system, making him susceptible to various kinds of diseases. He succumbs to depression, anxiety disorders, and a long-standing feeling of resentment.
In a fit of rage, a person can vent his anger on objects or animals within his reach with destructive effects. Unfortunate though it may be for being in the wrong place at the wrong time, an object is a far better victim of one’s rage than a person, however costly it may be.
But none of the above would happen, if the person only learns anger management skills.
Producing Constructive Anger with Anger Management
You cannot avoid anger, but you can optimize its influence on your behavior. By using its energy to drive you towards achieving your goals, you could turn it to be one of your greatest motivators. Some people use anger to stand up for what they believe in and for the people they care for.
Anger Management Techniques
Prerequisites to applying anger management techniques include your awareness of the problem and your willingness and determination to find solution to it.
The best way to manage anger is to prevent its occurrence.
Long-Term Prevention Techniques
Regular Practice of Meditation: Meditation aims to bring mind waves under control. Successful meditation practice produces alpha waves, which gives you a sense of peace and serenity, even amidst the stresses of everyday life. You remain calm and peaceful under any circumstance.
Regular Relaxation Exercises: Relaxation and anger are incompatible experiences. The best physical exercises for relaxation are Yoga and Tai Chi. Yoga is an excellent way to relax mind and body. Tai Chi helps you handle stressful situations.
Learning to Identify Anger Triggers: What conditions provoke you to anger? Why do they provoke you? How will you resolve them, when they occur?
Reshaping Negative Attitudes and Beliefs:Your view of the world, conditioned by your attitudes and belief systems, determine your emotional reactions. If your thinking patterns are negative, reorient them towards a positive direction. With a positive mind, negative emotions become incompatible, and discontinue to persist.
Immediate Prevention Techniques
Stay away from anger-provoking situations. If this is not possible, prepare yourself mentally to handle potential stressors or anger triggers before facing them.
When in the situation, be mindful of your feelings. Recognize and acknowledge the onset of anger. Defeat it before it overpowers you. Find ways to ease out the stress before it ripens into a full-blown anger.
Should your prevention strategies prove insufficient, try the following physical, psychological, and social techniques to reduce the anger activators.
At the onset of anger, remove yourself from the situation. Take a personal break. Work on your breathing, and modify your thoughts. Try also to refresh and cool your senses with some cold drinks.
If these are not enough, engage in a physical activity that can serve as outlet for your anger. Practice karate on a punching bag. Play basketball. Chop wood. Run, run, run. Go where nobody can hear you, and shout out your heart’s content – LOUD! Vent it out, using only safe means. Just do not bottle it up.
Cognitive Restructuring: Altering your thinking pattern about your existing situation into more rational form can help overpower your anger feelings. Pause, and think of its possible consequences. Tell yourself that life is not always a bed of roses, and that getting angry can never be a solution.
Autosuggestion: Self-talk (autosuggestion) is your inner conversation that can influence how you feel and behave. Repeating words that conjure up peaceful and friendly images in your mind can help you shift your feeling from angry to relaxed.
Communication: Without being offensive, express your feelings freely and state your needs firmly in your attempt to assert your convictions and release your pent-up frustrations.
Empathy and Patience: See the issue from the other person’s perspective. He may have justifiable reasons for his behavior, and you just do not understand him. Be compassionate and generous with your patience. If you have a soft heart, you are less prone to anger.
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Still More Techniques
Learn more techniques from Anger Management: How to Control Your Anger to Get the Most Out of Your Life
What I Would Do, If I Were the Object of Your Anger
When you are angry, you are in emotional pain. If I were the object of your anger, I would have enough sense not to join you in your pain by returning the disfavor.
In your state of anger at me, I will immediately recognize the power you have relinquished to me to dictate how you should feel. Unless you learn to practice anger management, I would be tempted to play with your emotion accordingly.