Photo Models: April Rose Meris and Mark Ballesteros
WHEN A PERSON FALLS IN LOVE, WORDS CANNOT DENY IT. Pretenses cannot mask it. Silence cannot hide it. The body will speak it out aloud in one way or another.
Someone in love may be too shy to verbally disclose his feelings. Someone so inept will fail to understand the nonverbals that emanate from this reticence.
Correctly reading the signs of love will save you a lot of troubles and heartaches. No longer will you send out the wrong signals to the other person due to false interpretation of his or her affection. Misreading could result in an embarrassing situation. With ability to read love’s body language correctly, you do not have to leave love to fate or chance.
What Happens When You Fall in Love
When you fall in love, a variety of hormones race around your brain and body. Among these is dopamine. It is the one that gives you that initial romantic sensation, euphoric excitement, and an intense craving for the object of your love.
In the initial stage, feelings of unworthiness and fear may set in, making you feel shy and insecure. You fear disappointment and embarrassment that the person you love may not reciprocate your feelings.
So, how do these translate into body language? These emotional experiences cause involuntary physiological reactions and unconscious behavioral tendencies. They manifest themselves as the body language of falling in love.
The Involuntary Physiological Reactions to Love’s Emotional Experiences
Falling in love causes the body to release a flood of feel-good hormones that trigger specific involuntary and uncontrollable physiological responses. This is seen particularly in the facial area as countenance glow and dilated eye pupils.
That Certain Glow
This wonderful feeling called love creates a sense of well-being and exuberant health. That is why someone in love seems to bloom, like a flower in spring, and exudes a glowing aura of health and happiness on his countenance.
While it could at first be stressful, falling in love still possesses a strong and overall stress-reducing potential, as love regulates the autonomic nervous system.
When a person in love looks at the person he fancies, his eye pupils dilate. They seem to be attempting to focus on every feature of the loved one, as if trying to see as much of him as possible. The reason for this, really, is adrenaline, a hormone the body releases whenever one is excited or afraid.
Love’s Unconscious Behavioral Tendencies
Love’s body language is visible in a person’s facial expression, vocal intonation, body posture, and other bodily movements. A person in love is usually unaware of these tendencies showing.
There are certain unconscious body behaviors common to both men and women in love.
Most people love their personal space, and do not want it to be invaded. However, when falling in love, they intensely desire to be close each other. They want to stand or sit closer together than normal. They forget about their personal space.
As if that were not enough, their torsos tend to lean in the direction of the other. They face each other directly, shoulders parallel to one another and toes pointed towards the other. One leg may be placed in a more advanced position than the other, as if ready to walk towards the other person.
Someone in love tends to smile longer and more frequently to a point of grinning happily. There is also that tendency to laugh more, and more often, in the company of his loved one.
It is normal for a shy person’s eye contact to be brief in the beginning of courtship. Later on, eye contact becomes slightly longer than usual, with eyes more aflame.
Someone in love will unconsciously mirror the other’s body postures, repositioning himself to be in synch with the other. When the other leans forward, he leans forward as well. If the other rests her hand on her chin, he follows. In all respects, any person in tune with the person he is speaking to uses his body in a similar fashion to the other.
Someone in love always fails to see the very apparent faults of his loved one. The reason for this is that love deactivates the neural network in the brain associated with critical social assessment of other people. Do you now understand why “love is blind”?
You will observe differences in the way a man in love and a woman in love expresses their feelings through body language.
Man in Love
When a man in love makes eye contact at his girl, he stares directly and deeply into her eyes for as long as possible.
He touches her protectively, possessively, and romantically. He takes every opportunity to take her hand and interweave his fingers with hers.
He may also tuck his girl’s hair behind her ears, and place his hand on the small of her back.
In his attempt to impress the girl with his looks, he starts fixing his tie, smoothes his shirt, or runs his fingers through his hair. He stands up tall and straight in the presence of his loved one, and flexes his muscles in a show of masculinity and underlying strength.
Some, for reasons I do not know, occasionally play with one of their ear lobes.
If you are a woman, and you want to know if a guy is interested in you, I encourage you to read the article Five Simple Ways to Read a Man’s Body Language of Love.
Woman in Love
Perhaps because of her less aggressive and more romantic nature, the woman in love often looks at her man with a sidelong glance. However, a more aggressive woman will wink at the man of her desire.
A woman in love unconsciously points her knee towards her man, as she crosses her legs.
She strokes her hair, or plays with a lock of hair. She flicks or flings her hair over her shoulder, or continually tucks it behind her ears.
She links her arm in that of the man, or puts her hand on the back of his neck.
She wipes imaginary dust off the man’s clothes.
She touches or massages her neck frequently. Especially when flirting, she unconsciously lifts her head to expose more of her neck.
She pouts her lips, or parts or licks them, and bats her eyelashes.
Accurate Decoding of Body Language Signs
Beware! Body language signs are not conclusive, and could be unreliable if incorrectly interpreted. They are never to be construed in isolation but always in reference to relevant extraneous factors. Here is how you can decode these signs accurately.
Establish their meanings in the context of the relevant present situation. Interpret them in reference to a cluster of other related gestures of the other person. Evaluate them in relation to what the other person is saying. Assess them for consistency with how the other person normally behaves. Filter them for cultural influences (for example, looking at another straight in the eye while conversing carries different connotations in different cultures).
Falling in love can be a very delightful experience. However, if you are unclear about how the other person feels about you, it could be tricky and heartbreaking.
It is always, therefore, to your advantage to learn how to read the signs of body language. Your knowledge can apply not only to the realm of love but also to other important aspects of your life, like business and social relationships.
Since we spend most of our social life communicating, understanding what the other person really means can be deduced to a broader extent and with greater accuracy from the language of his body.
Recommendations for Further Reading
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